Addison Timlin Reflects on Being a Single Mother Amid Divorce: "It Is So F*cking Hard"

Addison Timlin was feeling pensive during her first Mother's Day as a single parent. Amid her divorce from actor Jeremy Allen White, Timlin paused to reflect on her experiences as a single mother in an emotional Instagram post on May 14. "Being a single mom is not how I pictured it," she captioned photos of herself and their two children, Ezer Billie White, 4, and Dolores Wild White, 2. "It is so f*cking hard. It is all out covered in sh*t crying on the floor kick you in the shins screaming with no sound coming out hard. Its not the natural order of things. It can be exhausting but more than anything it can just be so lonely." The actor's post marks the first time she has spoken publicly since news of her split from White, who stars on "The Bear."

The mom noted that time spent with her children has been instrumental in her journey of self-development. "When something magical happens and you have to tell yourself 'don't forget this' because theres no witness by your side," she wrote. "It's so painful. But just like everything with motherhood the lows are demolished by the staggering heights. To live with young children is an eyes wide open, wondrous and joyful place to be, it's to be surrounded by a daily expression of their authentic selves and I wonder if without their example I would have been able to do the same."

Timlin acknowledged that finding the strength to love yourself unconditionally can feel hopeless, but she's grateful to her kids for opening her heart to that limitless kind of love. "My hope for all mothers is that the expansive, unconditional, without fear or judgement love we offer our children can be turned towards ourselves as much as possible. We need it," she said. "Knowing what is best for you is easy if you can get quiet enough — doing what is best for you can seem impossible — but it's not."

She continued, "Im feeling so peaceful today and so deeply in love with my children, being a mom is the only thing I've ever wanted and being theirs is just the luckiest most remarkable thing on the planet. Doing it alone has given me more strength and more empathy and more tears than anything else in my life ever has."

Timlin concluded the post with a heartfelt message of thanks to all those who have lent a hand as she navigates her newfound life as a single mother. "So thank you to everyone that has helped me in these last 9 months, the moms who picked my kid up from school in an emergency, play dates that made weekends feel a little less like climbing a small mountain, crying in my car, urgent care centers, frozen 1 and 2, and my little man JJ, Kraft mac and cheese, dry shampoo, ice cream, lollipops, goldfish, pirates booty, pull ups, crocs, soap & water, neighbors, my friends, my family, and if you turned and said to me 'I've got you' Oof. It feels good," she wrote. "Happy Mother's Day ya'll."