"Mastectomy Moons" Are Giving Patients Space to Grieve on Their Own Terms

When you know your life is about to change, grief is inevitable. How you cope with it is up to you. In 2012, Michele Kraus Bennett tested positive for the BRCA1 gene mutation, increasing her risk of breast cancer. Nearly a decade later, after years of screenings, MRIs, mammograms, pelvic ultrasounds, and blood tests, she finally scheduled her preventative prophylactic mastectomy for Dec. 1, 2021 — along with a road trip across the West Coast. "I was like, 'I'm going to go show my boobs a bunch of stuff,'" Kraus Bennett tells PS. "'I'm going to go show my boobs Joshua Tree.'"

She was partially inspired by her actual honeymoon in 2020, which also involved a road trip. "We loved it so much, and at every moment in life, I always think: Is this an opportunity to do something really memorable and big?" After planning her mastectomy, Kraus Bennett had the same thought. "This is something that I could just pass by, or I could really celebrate and mark this moment and do something exciting.'" Thus, a pre-surgery road trip was born.

These kinds of "mastectomy moons" might seem a little unusual from the outside looking in. But for people like Kraus Bennett, they offer a moment of peace — an opportunity to grieve, celebrate, and escape on one's own terms.

Kraus Bennett's trip started with a flight from Portland, OR, to Los Angeles. From there, she and her husband rented a sprinter van and started making their way across scenic camp sites along the West Coast. In various Instagram galleries documenting her journey, Kraus Bennett describes rugged rocks and blue skies, quiet mornings and peaceful hikes, soft sunrises and cold sand.

"As it turns out, I had cancer on the road trip, but I didn't know," she says. "We camped at this place called the Alabama Hills and we were all alone in the campground. It was beautiful — it was like $8 a night — it was so pretty, and we would just go on walks in the evening." Throughout her trip, she also explored Death Valley, went horseback riding, visited Meow Wolf Omega Mart in Las Vegas, had breakfast in Palm Springs, saw the Hoover Dam, and spent time at Disneyland. "I took my bra off in the bathroom before Tower of Terror," she laughs. She looks back on the memories fondly.

For Kraus Bennett, the road trip allowed her to find some levity in a dark situation. But it also gave her space to come to terms with all the changes that were about to take place. "The other night, floating around in the pool, waving my arms around, I tried to feel the cold water on my chest, and feel how my breasts float, because that will change," she wrote in an Instagram post from Nov. 18. As a synchronized swimmer, the grief felt especially heavy. "I remember standing in the shower and being like, 'I'm not going to feel the water on my chest,'" she tells PS. "I have to soak this up."

When her operation finally came around, Kraus Bennett went in with a clear mind and a calm soul. "There's nothing else I can do to prepare. I feel really good about this decision," she thought to herself. She credits the mastectomy moon for helping her step into this mindset. "I made the choice and I went on this trip and really did something special and honored it," she says. "It was really nice to be able to be celebrated and get to say goodbye."

Everyone is operating under different circumstances. But if you have the means to schedule a trip before a similar surgery or major life change, Kraus Bennett would definitely recommend it. "I think stuff like this is always a good idea," she says. Beyond all the fun memories, it also helped her approach a longer health journey in the best headspace possible.

"I felt like I was as majestic as the places we were visiting," she says. "It gave me so much more peace and happiness."

Chandler Plante (she/her) is an assistant health and fitness editor for PS. She has over four years of professional journalism experience, previously working as an editorial assistant for People magazine and contributing to Ladygunn, Millie, and Bustle Digital Group.