I Had an Abortion Less Than a Year After Having My First Child

This article is part of POPSUGAR's 50 States, 50 Abortions, a large-scale storytelling project that aims to elevate the voices of people who've had abortions. For more information about how to find an abortion clinic near you, please visit The Cut's abortion service finder.

When I had an abortion, I was maybe 34 or 35 and had an 11-month-old son. Being a mom of an infant was really challenging for me, so when I realized I was pregnant again, my husband and I had a conversation about it, and neither of us were ready. He was doing his residency to become a family physician, and it had been very difficult for us as a couple to have an infant and to never have my husband home. I needed to be working and bringing in income, and our child didn't like being in daycare. We didn't have the money, we didn't have the emotional energy. We were exhausted, and it was very stressful.

Frankly, the first baby was unplanned, too. We were overjoyed and decided to have him despite our circumstances, but once we had him in our lives, we wanted to be able to focus more energy on his well-being and make sure that he had the kind of family life and parenting that we thought children deserved. And I wasn't prepared to have another baby at that time, emotionally, physically, or psychologically.

I don't think I was more than six weeks pregnant at the time. I had to have an appointment to do an ultrasound, then I went back for the abortion itself. It was over 20 years ago, so I don't remember much about the procedure, to be honest. I remember there was a little bit of pain and discomfort, but nothing terrible. I remember taking a medication to relax, maybe Valium, and the pain was pretty minimal.

I do remember, when I walked into the clinic, there were people outside protesting. But there were also abortion supporters there to help people who were making that choice. I happened to know an older woman, who I'd worked with in the peace and justice movement, who was outside the doors. We had a brief conversation. It was just so great to see her there. I definitely had her up on a pedestal as an amazing activist, and we had gotten pretty close. I had no idea she was going to be there, but there she was supporting me as I walked through those doors.

The emotional recovery afterward was hard. My husband wasn't home with me after the procedure, and I think my son was at daycare. I remember a woman who was in my dinner co-op knocked on my door to deliver food for the week, and I just broke down and started crying and told her the whole story. It was this very touching moment between us, because I didn't have a lot of support otherwise.

I wasn't very open about the experience, and I hadn't told many people about it until recently. If someone asked me if I'd had an abortion, I would've said yes. I never hid it or anything, but it wasn't a big topic of conversation.

I did eventually have another son, five years later, and I'm so thankful because I know I wouldn't have him if I had continued that second pregnancy. I know I wouldn't have had three.

I started sharing my story publicly soon after the draft opinion leaked indicating that Roe would be overturned. I'm running for state representative in Washington, and I was sitting there thinking, "What in the hell can I do that is going to make a difference?" I decided to say three things that people could do, and the first one is to tell your story, because that's the only way to destigmatize abortion. And I thought, well, if I'm going to say that to other people, then I better tell my own story.

The second thing is to vote, and not just vote, but get engaged in electoral politics, because we've got many years of a very conservative supermajority Supreme Court ahead of us.

And the third thing is to engage with organizations that are working to protect women's right to reproductive health. Give money, volunteer, be outside of abortion clinics like my friend was.

Abortion is a fundamental issue. There are a whole lot of women out there in states that aren't Washington, that aren't progressive with clear pro-choice laws on the books, who are being forced to do something against their will. Being a single mom is a major predictor of living in poverty, so on top of that, we're also going to create so much more poverty.

I'm in a very safe state, so I can use my voice on issues like this, and I do. For me, getting an abortion was really straightforward. I mean, the abortion clinic was, like, 10 blocks from my house. But even then, I didn't share the story with a lot of people. If I were to do it again, I think I would've asked for more support around myself. And I would definitely recommend for anyone else in this situation to have a close friend or partner to support you if you can, and, when it comes to making this decision, to just be clear about whether you're ready — holistically, as a person — to have a child. Mistakes happen. It's perfectly OK if it's not the right time.

— Beth Doglio (she/her) (Washington), as told to Maggie Ryan

Image Sources For "Click For Stories From Each State": Unsplash / Aaron Burden, Getty / Sergii Iaremenko/Science Photo Library, Unsplash / Manik Roy and Photo Illustration: Patricia O'Connor